A Rant: People, PLEASE Untether Yourselves - Free Yourselves From the Tyranny of the PHONE!

Most especially the idea that you have to be connected to anyone and everyone every minute of the day and night or life as you know it will cease to exist!

Somehow civilization survived for thousands of years without the constant touchy-feely need to chat in perpetuity with someone you might not have spoken to in, say, the last 20 minutes.

Walking down the street these days is an obstacle course since most everyone on said street is busy talking and revealing their most intimate details to everyone around them, willing or unwilling to listen. The rest of the world appears not to exist for those on a cell - it's as if they're hypnotized -  they believe they are in their own protected universe. (I once heard a doctor discussing details of a patient's case while standing on a street corner in full hearing of innocent civilians.)

If you cannot leave your car in the supermarket parking lot and walk the few yards to the entrance to the store without calling someone to advise them of your situation, then for goodness' sake, think about getting some counselling. I hate to break this to you, but you are simply NOT that interesting! Your day to day, moment to moment adventures in living are NOT so intriguing that they must be shared as they happen to all and sundry, including me standing behind you, next to you, in front of you, or anywhere in the vicinity of you.

Let me tell you something else that I hope won't come as a surprise, although it might: Unless you are the President of the United States and his guardians, or even The Secretary General of the United Nations, or perhaps Uhura on a secret mission, there is NO real reason for you to be walking down the street talking on a phone. None. Zip. Zero. Nada.

If you're doing it because it makes you feel important - which I have a feeling is the main cause for all this street, parking lot, standing on line at the movies chatter - then please be aware that you could not be more wrong. You are not viewed as being important because you're spilling your guts on the phone in full view of the world.

Maybe this was the case in the very beginning when only the Secret Service (or people of that ilk) had cell phones, but NO MORE.  No one's going to mistake you for Someone Important because you're chattering away on a phone while tripping over the curb or falling down a manhole or crashing your car or running over some poor pedestrian or bumping into a wall or forgetting to pay attention to your screeching child. I think you can trust me on this.

Last but not least - what is it with these little phone attachments that fit over the ear and leave your hands free to - well, to do whatever it is you do with your hands while walking, driving or otherwise going about your business. It's bad enough to see people meandering like zombies down the street  or crossing an avenue as cars careen around them, while talking (usually loudly) on a thing held up to their ear but now, more and more, we have the spectacle of people walking down the street seemingly talking loudly to themselves - having whole conversations standing alone with hands in pockets - eyes glazed, in complete ignorance of those around them.

Used to be, those sorts of people were thought to be the less mentally fortunate among us. But no more, now it's seen as perfectly normal behavior. Pretty soon it will be impossible to tell the loony-toons from the rest of us.

It is especially startling when viewed in context. For instance, if you're standing in an empty store (well, empty except for the salespeople) and you're seen to be carrying on a whole conversation staring fixedly into space. Especially odd if your hair is hiding the little phone contraption strapped to your ear. Or the same thing could apply while you're shopping, driving, riding on a bus or train or simply having a coffee at an outdoor cafe.

I recently saw a car full of people heading somewhere and several passengers in the backseat had these gadgets attached to their ears. I'll bet anything they talk to each other by phone rather than in live conversation. Today as I was sitting near a window, I heard a voice, looked out and sure enough there went a teenage boy either having hallucinations or talking on one of those ear things. Very unsettling.

Is there no privacy anymore? Obviously not. I might even go so far as to say that 'privacy' is now viewed as a quaint, archaic notion. I mean, if you have nothing to hide, why not scatter your words, thoughts, allusions, illusions, opinions and unfunny jokes to the four winds?

Hey, that's what blogs are for. If you want the world to know your words, thoughts, allusions, illusions, opinions and unfunny jokes then for heaven's sake - GET A BLOG! It's much less intrusive and your neighbors will thank you. Really.

P.S. My daughter says I'm old and that this sort of thing is the future which is now. Pretty soon we won't remember what it was like to live without a constant phone appendage. I grimace when I hear this. It so reminds me of COLOSSUS: THE FORBIN PROJECT - a movie which ends with a know-it-all computer taking over the world and telling the chief scientist (in fact, the guy who built the damn thing) "Soon you will grow to love me."  Or words to that effect. The scientist, played effectively by Eric Braeden says, "Never."

That's how I feel.